"_______ needs help"

Google "(your name) needs" and post the top 10 results:(After the results, please prepare for complete sarcasm from me about my life based on the results)

Amy needs help!!!!
Amy needs help!!!!
Amy needs help!!!!
Amy needs help!!!!
Amy needs a drug-dealer's testimony to free a teenager wrongfully accused
Amy needs to decide if this fits her idea of a good relationship
Amy needs to mend her ways and be more of a team player
Amy needs help for life
Amy needs a new pair of shoes
Amy needs to either wake up or start getting some extra will-power

LOL This Cracked me up.

That just sums up my life story.

I need help, because this drug dealer I know might be able to testify to the innocence of a teenager that was wrongfully accused of something they just didn't do! I don't know if this drug dealer is a good Idea for a relationship...Maybe I need to mend my ways, and help sell drugs, become more of a team player. Maybe I need a life coach...Someone who could help me with life, tell me what to do, as if they know me better than I know me...Maybe I just need a pair of new shoes. Oh me and the shoes, I need to either wake up and smell the coffee, because no shoes are coming my way, or I need to get some extra will power and buy less food.

My life to a T! Google is Psychic!!! :O